who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
