Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
