He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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