I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ladies don't puke and tell
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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