This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
