'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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