i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
and she was petting her beer can
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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