This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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