my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
