i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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