So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
