Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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