Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
