I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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