what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
