Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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