we're blogging at a bar
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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