Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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