After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
