I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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