PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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