R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
