Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
