Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
