Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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