Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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