We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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