quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
