she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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