i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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