Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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