It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
