I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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