This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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