apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
