apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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