Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
