he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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