Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize