You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish I could teleport
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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