wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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