I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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