I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
