she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
