I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
