Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
