and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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