my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
