3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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