i can't believe i had my finger in that
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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