Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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