So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
