No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
