Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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