they call him Oral-B. enough said
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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