remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
