jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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