Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
