so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
