Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
This is the high leading the old right now
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
