Me too!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
