Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
